Like Sands Through the Hourglass
by Kylarileiza
Summary: Fai remembers how he used to always worry about time slipping through his hands while traveling with his companions. Written for Tsubasa Chronicle Month, prompt: time. Kurofai, spoilers (otp)
1. Like Sands

**A/N: Posted this to tumblr for the Tsubasa Month. But since tumblr continues to confuse me, I figured I might as well post here, too. The prompt was "time." So of course I had to title the fic after Days of Our Lives!**

Fai held an hourglass in his hands, studying it thoughtfully as he let his mind wander, past memories and thoughts popping up...

Fai stared helplessly up at the man that towered over him. Kurogane did not look pleased at all. They had only been traveling together now for several weeks and Fai was finding himself having a little too much with the nicknames and riling the ninja up. It was quite entertaining and, for whatever unfathomable reason, Kurogane might rant and groan at the directives he received from Fai, but he still followed them. Something that stunned Fai the first time and the second time and the third time and now he just kept giving directives to see if the other man would refuse him. Kurogane never did anything without grumbling about it, but it still got done.

There was a heavy weight in Fai's chest when he looked at Sakura and Syaoran, already well aware of their fate, but now he was finding that weight was there when Kurogane came into his field of vision. He didn't know why; of them all, wouldn't Kurogane be the one with a happy ending- he'd go back to the country he loved, that he never wanted to leave and it sounded as if he had people that cared for him there. A _good_ care, not the care that Fai experienced in Celes with Ashura. That weight, that block became heavier and heavier and as time wore on, Fai realized it was because he wanted to be part of that happy ending with Kurogane. That was impossible, though, and he continued to smile widely and try to quash all these feelings that welled up within him. With the kids, he could try to justify his distance, but it was for naught. He had no justification for trying to keep distance between him and Kurogane with the exception the man could easily kill him if he wanted. Kurogane didn't respect this distance, though, in fact, he went out of his way to obliterate that distance whether intentionally or not, Fai couldn't figure him out. And that was frustrating because Kurogane seemed to be having no trouble figuring him out.

Fai already felt as if time was slipping away from him, he knew he wouldn't have much more time with this Sakura and Syaoran and he began to wonder how much more time would he have with Kurogane? Certainly not enough time to figure out Kurogane. When they arrived in his country, would the ninja simply elect to stay there and wave the other three off with Mokona? The pressure built in chest as he found himself getting deeper and deeper into things, much more intertwined with these other travelers than he wanted. To the point, they were no longer travelers, more like friends and even beyond that, he wondered if this is what a family truly was. Was this how it would have been in Valeria if things had been different? And Kurogane- he was the one Fai still couldn't figure out; apparently, never would. He was too scared to, afraid of what he would have to admit to himself and he knew time wasn't on his side because Kurogane was the witch's pawn, not Reed's.

He felt the hands of time squeezing him and he only found comfort in the fact that he had no plans to be alive after this was all said and done. Because how could he live with himself after he betrayed these people, this _family_? There was no way he would be able to continue living on after that betrayal; he didn't even want to think that they might be hurt by him but, deep down, he knew they would be. He didn't want to but he had to and he felt so much guilt because he didn't want to hurt them but he also didn't want to abandon his brother, the real Fai. He had to give this life back to Fai, he had to amend and atone for his wrong doing. And the immense guilt he felt for even second guessing himself weighed heavily upon him because what did that say about him? How could he doubt for even a second that he shouldn't bring his twin back to life, that the sacrifice required was too great; not just of Fai, but of Sakura, Syaoran, and Kurogane? No, he couldn't think that way and time was slipping by and he was growing closer to those three and even Mokona who he had only first viewed as a magical creation but was now actively worrying over the thing.

Then Tokyo happened with it's ugly acid rain and horrid devastation and that world was something nightmares were made of. He felt time constrict further around him because what on earth had Kurogane done? Fai had finally had an _escape_ , he finally didn't have to suffer through the immense guilt and suffering he felt when he thought of his twin, his blood family, Ashura, he didn't have to deal with the conflict he felt when he thought of betraying his traveling family, he wouldn't even have need to _feel_ anything anymore. He would be _free, free, free_! He could hopefully see his brother again if he were allowed, if his brother would even want to see him. Sakura and Syaoran would be safe and not have to feel the bitter sting of betrayal brought on by Fai. And Kurogane- and Kurogane would be free of him because he clearly needed to be set free; that much was clear in how easy and readily Kurogane had agreed with Yuuko's plan to save Fai's life despite the sacrifices he'd have to make. And Fai hated him for it because now it would all be Kurogane's fault, he was alive now and couldn't very well abandon his plan and how had he let this happen? When and how had Kurogane grown this fond of him that he would save his life like this? Was there something that Fai didn't see, something he didn't understand? Fai reflected on the person he was and saw nothing but faults and efforts to push all of them away, Kurogane included but the ninja must have been seeing something totally different and Fai was at a loss.

Then Celes happened and that was….. Something that even now Fai had trouble grasping. Kurogane was there the entire time, never leaving and even being willing to fight but for an entirely different reason than Fai. And at the end, Fai had failed in his mission to save his twin, but now he knew what his twin had been thinking about at the end and Fai knew his brother held no ill will towards him. He was sure that his brother would still be in his nightmares but not with the accusations as before. It didn't matter, though, because he was going to die anyway. He figured he would finally be able to join his brother in death, but there was Kurogane again, pulling at him frantically and determinedly and Fai had his mind blown at the lengths this man was willing to go for him.

Then there had been Nihon, Kurogane's country. Fai was relieved when they landed there and Tomoyo sought them out, knowing that Kurogane would need immediate medical attention and even comforted Fai as he cried over the prone figure that was Kurogane, Syaoran still holding Sakura and looking around uncertainly, unsure what to do, until he spotted the calvary heading in their direction. Fai was worried, he waited for news of Kurogane's condition and was relieved that he would be okay. Now the next worries started flooding him and he wondered if Kurogane would simply choose to stay here? They were in Nihon now and what if he stayed behind? For some reason, that twisted Fai's heart all sorts of ways, the same as the image that played over in his mind again and again of Kurogane yanking him out of that magic sphere even as blood spewed out of him. Why had he done that? Fai knew he had to do something and contacted Yuuko. Yuuko looked at him with pained eyes, knowing everything that had happened and knowing some of what was in store, he was sure. She had agreed to get him the fake arm but informed him of the price. When he agreed, she paused and asked if he would check with Kurogane first and Fai shook his head simply stating that Kurogane hadn't checked with him about his arm first so fair was fair. Yuuko couldn't disagree with that kind of logic. Fai wanted to at least give the man something in return for all the trouble he'd brought to him before they left him in this country.

There were hands on Fai's as he turned the hourglass again. "Fai?"

Fai looked up to find Kurogane staring down at him in concern and there was something else in his eyes that Fai always had trouble believing was meant for him. Tomoyo told him once that Kurogane adored him and Fai laughed but when he looked like that, Fai couldn't exactly say that Tomoyo was wrong. He hoped his own eyes reflected some adoration but he was sure his eyes only expressed awe because he was still in awe- always would be in awe- that someone thought he was worth as much as Kurogane did. And not only did Kurogane think that but Sakura, Syaoran, Mokona, Tomoyo, Yuuko, people- there were people out there that didn't think he was nothing but misfortune. They all acted like they were _fortunate_ to have met him, for him to be a part of their lives and them to be part of his.

"Fai?" Kurogane repeated, squeezed his hands gently, waiting for a response. Fai smiled at him, one full of sincerity and bliss and Kurogane's mood was instantly brightened at the sight. He brought one hand up to rake through golden hair and pulled Fai closer to him. "What are you doing?"

"I was just thinking of time and how it slips away," he explained. His voice dropped to a whisper, "I used to think I'd have a very limited amount of time with you." Kurogane's arms tightened around him protectively and he looked down at Fai.

"Time is an annoying thing," Kurogane commented lightly, though his expression was serious. Fai said nothing but leaned into Kurogane's touch; he thought of the place without time he had once been banished to. "But time can heal, too," Kurogane explained as he began dragging his hands across Fai's body and Fai was glad the hourglass he held was plastic because he dropped it. Soon they were creating memories and Fai was glad that he had so much more time with this person before him.


	2. Always

**Apparently, I'm just going to post really random kurofai one-shots here. Also posted this to tumblr under as "Always." (ohmygod, the cheese, the fluff!) for the fluff prompt under the handle letsveganlove. MAJOR SPOILERS. This takes place during the Tsubasa World Chronicle. One of my favorite panels is where Kurogane calls Fai a dumbass. So, anyway, here we are. Hope you enjoy!**

Kurogane reached his hand out, fingers gently brushing Fai's hair out of his face as Fai finished wrapping his mechanical arm with bandages to help hold it in place until whenever Fuuma would finally decide to show up with the new arm. Fai paused and tilted his head, concern clear in his eyes. Crimson eyes narrowed and Kurogane moved his hand to trail down Fai's cheek, stopping to hold it there. They had already tended to Syaoran's wounds and were rather impatiently waiting for him to awaken, but decided to tend to their own injuries in the meantime. Kurogane easily summoned to the front of his mind the image of Fai testing his theory out to see if he would get hurt the same as Syaoran and he unconsciously applied more pressure to Fai's cheek as if checking to make sure he was still there; his heart had sped up during that rather torturous event as for a second there he thought that he might be dragging two heavily injured people to their temporary home. Sometimes the mage really could be such a dumbass.

"Don't ever do anything like that again," he muttered lowly knowing that Fai would know full well what he was referring to.

Fai grimaced for a second before taking up a sad, small smile. "I had to find out for Syao-"

Kurogane shook his head and cut him off, "No, you didn't. And you know the kid would not have appreciated that."

"I…" Fai trailed off, unsure what to say especially when Kurogane was gazing at him with such tenderness in his eyes and being so gentle with his touch. Clearly, he had been scared earlier and Fai felt his chest tightening with fondness, he often thought he must have fallen asleep a long time ago. Maybe one of Sakura's feathers had some effect on him because surely there couldn't be someone who would care so much for him. Kurogane knew this and would often draw him close and assure him he wasn't dreaming. Fai smiled more sincerely and nodded. "Yeah, okay, that last favor. Can I ask for it now?" Kurogane eyed him for a second before giving a short nod. "Forgive me?"

Kurogane shook his head with some amusement and a small "tch" before pulling Fai in closely to him, holding on tightly. "Always."


	3. Dancing Through Interactive Fields

**This is based on an actual exhibit that you can run along and do the very thing they're doing in this fanfic. It's FUN.**

"This is such a fun world!" Syaoran beamed up at Fai and Kurogane as they waited in line for admission at the Botanical Gardens. "I heard some people saying this place was great!" Earlier, he had learned at a restaurant from a friendly couple that there was a feather in one of the exhibits at the Botanical Gardens so he'd immediately found Kurogane and Fai and they had taken off to explore said exhibit. Kurogane simply grunted in response to his excitement, Fai smiled widely at him, and Mokona danced around in his bag, having been tucked away as the creature was clearly not a normal thing in this world.

"What's the name of the exhibit, Syaoran?" Fai asked as they were allowed into the Gardens and started to wander aimlessly through a hall, noting the various doors that led into other parts of the building.

"It's called Field." Syaoran stopped short, realizing they were at the exhibit already. "Wait, it's right here!" He waved his hand at the entrance, a notebook laid out with the fine print asking for visitors to write their thoughts on the interactive exhibit after finishing with it. Kurogane and Fai stared at the sign that explained the exhibit before both looking to Syaoran, waiting for an explanation as neither could decipher the writing in this world. "It says it's interactive," he explained, "you run around to make the fields bloom and make butterflies appear."

"Interactive?" Kurogane repeated, eyes narrowing with suspicion. Seemed awfully odd to him.

Fai grinned and clapped his hands together excitedly. "Its sounds fun! Running through fields?" He glanced at the door that led to the exhibit. "The place doesn't look big enough to hold fields though."

"It's virtual," Syaoran explained as they filed through the door, entering the exhibit. The room was dark and long, clearly intended to be two rooms but the exhibit requited two rooms with no interruption. A large 46 foot long mural was projected on one wall. The light from the projection cast a soft glow into the room, allowing the occupants to see each other even with the main lights overhead off. Syaoran glanced around before digging Mokona out of her bag so she could also see.

Fai stared at the mural for a minute. "What do you do?" The mural was simply long stems of grass and he didn't see any butterflies fluttering about the exhibit.

"You wave your arms around and you can walk along the wall. The flowers bloom with motion and butterflies come out with wide, sweeping movements," Syaoran informed him, remembering the words he'd read on the sign outside the exhibit. Kurogane sat lazily on the bench that had been placed midway through the room, where another wall should have been. Folding his arms, he watched, amused, as Fai lifted one arm up and made a wide sweeping motion in front of the projection on the wall. Colors burst forth as suddenly there was red and a more vibrant green along with blue circles following Fai's arm's movement. Tiny butterflies fluttered to life, darting in and out of the flowers that appeared. A happy laugh tore out of Fai's throat.

"This is so clever!" Fai exclaimed with fascination, raising his other arm and making a wide, sweeping motion while also starting to move along the wall, noting how the colorful circles followed his movements, his entire body becoming part of the exhibit as more flowers began to burst forth onto the projection and butterflies began to fill the wall up. He looked over at Syaoran excitedly. "Syaoran, you move, too, we can make the whole field come alive!"

Syaoran nodded and set Mokona on his shoulder and began to move his arms around, watching as flowers and butterflies appeared on the projection in tandem with his movements, he moved out away from Fai, so they could get the whole field to come alive. Right when they were finally getting the knack of it and the whole wall was covered in vibrant colored flowers with butterflies every which way, the wall went dark. Fai and Mokona both cried out in disappointment but the colors changed and there was a new kind of plant waiting for them to make bloom.

Kurogane watched as Fai, Syaoran, and even the little ball of marshmallow fluff raised their arms or, in Mokona's case, ears, and flowers sprang to life, deep purples and pinks filling the screen with black and blue butterflies appearing as the three moved quicker and made wider sweeping motions that affected the projection. There was deep turquoise circles now working in tandem with the bodies before them and Kurogane couldn't help but grin as Fai practically danced in front of the exhibit, completely entranced by the mural that was being projected onto the wall. Syaoran had backed up a few steps to fall in with Kurogane, Mokona having hopped off his shoulders and onto Fai's, both too wrapped up in the interactive exhibit to even realize that both Syaoran and Kurogane were watching with both fondness and amusement.

"Do you like this place, Kurogane-san?" Syaoran inquired quietly, though he already knew the answer.

"There's no feather here, is there?"

Syaoran shook his head. "There isn't," he admitted. "But I thought this place would be good. You know, for the soul," he explained as he continued to watch Fai and Mokona interact with the projection, more purples, pinks, and turquoise colors casting light shadows across their faces. Fai's movements were fluid and purposeful, Mokona spinning gracefully on his shoulder, adding more flowers and butterflies to the fields.

Kurogane stood up and grinned down at the kid. "Yes, it is," he easily agreed, his heart light at the sight before him. Syaoran stared up at him with his own gentle smile, so happy he'd decided to take this detour. Fai was in the middle of doing a spin in front of the exhibit, watching more flowers burst forth in the projection, when he hit something solid.

Fai stared up into Kurogane's amused crimson eyes that burned with a gentleness he knew few had the privilege to see. "Kuro-tan! Isn't it beautiful?!" He asked, waving an arm at the exhibit, the motion creating more flowers, butterflies, and colors on the wall.

Kurogane pulled him in until he was up against his chest, blue eyes bright with fascination and wonderment. "Yes, it is," he muttered agreeably before leaning down to capture Fai's lips with his own; he knew Syaoran would keep an eye out and Mokona would just giggle with happiness at the sight. It was rare that he'd show this much affection publicly but with the way the flowers burst forth and how enthralled Fai was with it all, it was impossible to resist. More colors and flowers came to life beside them on the mural and Syaoran grinned at the sight. Good for the soul, indeed.

"Magical" was entered into the book by Syaoran before they left.


End file.
